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(okay first of all I loved her character in the Scary Movie series, the Wayne brothers! all greatness)

So, HALLOWEEN GUYS! I love horror, scary things, creepy things, but let’s be real here, majority of these movies have white folk…and the occasional token black guy.

But realistically, our immediate instincts are what; Drop da shit and Dip out. If you watch the Michael Myers movies, Jason, etc, there’s always a wait period or something these fools do where I go “Dammit you are stupid! That’s why your character died! Screw your slow ass”

Anyway, here’s a list of things Black Folk won’t do written by a comedian. 

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/orlando-jones/21-things-youll-never-see_b_1446484.html

21 Things You’ll Never See Black People Doing in Horror Movies

by Orlando Jones

1. Vacation at Chernobyl. WTF is “Extreme Tourism”? If we need to book a trip we go here.
2. Adopt a kid who turns out to be the devil.
3. Pay for tickets to a Hockey Game.
4. Get stranded hiking up Mt. Fuji.
5. Get attacked by a wolverine in its natural habitat.
6. Get mauled by a pet tiger.
7. Explore the inside of an active volcano.
8. Get cursed out by their creepy kid in Whole Foods. 
9. Kill a family member over a trust fund.
10. Investigate.
11. Scuba dive in order to see a great white shark.
12. Eat grilled chicken.
13. Scream, “Go ahead without me. Save yourself!”
14. Stay in a house with bleeding walls and creaky floors. 
15. Split up to look for somebody. If you got separated from the group you deserve to die.
16. Get blood on the Rent-a-Center sofa.
17. Hang out in a house with no flat screen TV.
18. Drop the car keys when the killer is chasing you
19. Die second. We always die first. Except me in the film Primeval where I refuse to go out like that. SPOILER ALERT — I die — just not first.
20. Go into a house again after we find out it’s haunted. 

I have bolded all of the things I know I would most def do, some of the other stuff…dare devil complex ya know.

Happy pre-scary crap guese.

I think this is why I don’t watch Late Night “Comedy” Shows: The “controversy between Kanye West and Jimmy Kimmel. Is this Legit?

…so I watched the “troubling” clip that Kimmel did of Kanye West’s interview on BBC Radio. He Only talks about the fashion moment West is having about leather jogging outfits, like I give a shiiitt. 

Okay no really that’s how I feel about this whole “controversy.” He’s not raggin on West’s comments about racism, classicism, that part isn’t even in the skit. He only does a parody about those fashion comments.

I mean come on, really? His parody suddenly starts an uproar and immediately jumps on the defense for Kanye cause Kimmel did wrong? He didn’t do anything, I don’t think he’s funny, I mean the skit was cute, but no harm done. It wasn’t like he was raggin “Oh Kanye no one cares about what you think about the systematic issues in this country shaddaap oh and let me do a parody about it.”  

Here’s a link to the clip:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7_O6QrdsP38

Takin things too far? Maybe an uproar for no reasons? What ya think?

supposedly great Satire song about Welfare? 

Chapter Jackson - It’s Free Swipe Yo EBT 

Keywanda is having the time of her life. Her job is raising her family of 10 children while dealing with the drama and stress of the children’s fathers. Thanks to the great state of California, Keywanda can support her lifestyle of having fun, getting “Turnt Up” and the kids can even get to eat from time to time.

Chapter plays roles in her music videos using “Satire” which is primarily a literary genre or form, although in practice it can also be found in the graphic and performing arts. In satire, vices, follies, abuses, and shortcomings are held up to ridicule, ideally with the intent of shaming individuals, and society itself, into improvement.Although satire is usually meant to be funny, its greater purpose is often constructive social criticism, using wit as a weapon.

Lyrics:

Chorus

It’s free! Swipe Yo EBT Free! Swipe Yo EBT It’s free! Swipe Yo EBT Free! Swipe Yo EBT It’s free You had me to get it all free You had me to get it all free You had me to get it all free You had me to get it all free

Verse One

The state of California I need to warn you Free welfare free dental free food Mama say’s she can’t take me to school Why am I hungry and we get free food. Free housing free day care free clothes. This is where the tax payer money goes. Ooh a bugger in my nose. We all share chonees and socks. Did mamma’s check come in the mailbox?

Pre Chorus

All you have to do is fuck And 9 months later you’re getting the big bucks But all you have to do is fuck And 9 months later you’re getting the big bucks All you have to do is fuck And 9 months later you’re getting the big bucks But all you have to do is fuck

Chorus

It’s free! Swipe Yo EBT Free! Swipe Yo EBT It’s free! Swipe Yo EBT Free! Swipe Yo EBT It’s free! You had me to get it all free You had me to get it all free You had me to get it all free You had me to get it all free

Verse Two

California wake up If they don’t get they’re money
They’re going to kick Yo butt At the county building standing in line It’s to late they’re not passing out Anymore vouchers for section 8 It’s to late they’re not passing out any more vouchers for section 8 They turned me away

Pre Chorus

All you have to do is fuck 9 months later you’re getting the big bucks
But all you have to do is fuck 9 months later you’re getting the big bucks
All you have to do is fuck 9 months later you’re getting the big bucks
But all you have to do is fuck 9 months later you’re getting the big bucks

Chorus

It’s free! Swipe Yo EBT Free! Swipe Yo EBT It’s free! Swipe Yo EBT Free! Swipe Yo EBT It’s free You had me to get it all free You had me to get it all free You had me to get it all free You had me to get it all free

Bridge:

Now yall need to be sitting here now Let’s go get this money Man I want some subway Hot Cheetos Some Starburst Fish and French fries Some Jolly Rancher Lemonade A mamma! Did they approve us for section 8 cause I 
don’t want go to Granny’s house anymore, anymore! I want some airheads
Hot Cheetos I want some nachos Oh I want some pizza Noodles- Ravioli Ohh! I want a pickle with some Kool-Aid
See that’s just ghetto You’ll want too much stuff I want everything in the store

Chorus

It’s free! Swipe Yo EBT Free! Swipe Yo EBT It’s free! Swipe Yo EBT Free! Swipe Yo EBT It’s free! You had me to get it all free You had me to get it all free You had me to get it all free You had me to get it all free
EBT!!!!!!

Does this work for you as a Satire? 

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